Battling Imposter Syndrome

The first time I truly dwelt on the term “imposter syndrome” was during my first year at university, where I was passionately pursuing a Bachelor of Science in Computer Science. And yes, I dropped out in my second year for personal reasons. (Don’t worry, I’ll spill the tea another day, but no, it wasn’t because it was “too hard.” Let’s nip that little thought in the bud, lol.)

Fast forward five years, and I had become a corporate explorer of sorts, dabbling in sales, e-commerce, and the world of digital marketing. It was interesting, sure, but somewhere along the way, I realized I wasn’t pursuing something I was passionate about. I missed something… those moments in university where I strung together a few lines of code and somehow created something cool. Something functional. Something that actually solved problems. That feeling was like finding the last piece of a puzzle, and I wasn’t about to let it slip away.

So, toward the end of 2024, I took the leap. I enrolled in a software engineering bootcamp and officially waved goodbye to my 9-to-5 life. (Don’t worry, I documented the drama in my “New Beginnings?” post. It’s juicy you won’t want to miss it.)

Now, where was I again? …. imposter syndrome.

Nineteen days into January, living the unemployed but ambitious life, and as a junior (but obviously skilled) developer, I’ve been living in a constant cycle of highs and lows. One moment, I’m having the time of my life building projects, chatting with fellow developers, and tackling LeetCode questions (though, let’s be honest, LeetCode is really kicking my a$$ right now). The next moment , boom! I’m hit with a tidal wave of doubt. Suddenly, I’m painfully aware of how quickly others solve a LeetCode hard in two minutes while I’m sweating bullets and rereading an easy for an hour.

The dreadful series of monologue questions starts to creep in: “Are you even cut out for this? Shouldn’t you just go back to what you were doing before? This won’t work out…” And let’s not even talk about the job applications that ghost me so hard that the rejections are starting to feel better at this point.

In all seriousness, just before I started writing this, I couldn’t help but think, This feeling sucks. That gut wrenching, heart dropping moment where your mind blanks and races at the same time. It’s easy to see why so many people give up on their dreams.

But here’s the thing, I’m not about to. And I don’t want you to either! Whether you’re a junior developer, an unemployed graduate, a small business owner, or anyone battling with imposter syndrome, this is me telling you: YES, you’re smart enough! You’re meant to be here, and you’re meant to pursue this. Trust me, God doesn’t plant ambitions in your heart that He doesn’t want you to chase. Better days are coming, as long as you don’t back down now!

Remind yourself of all the times you thought you wouldn’t succeed…but still did.

You’ve got this! Now, let’s go get it!